Swinging from "everything is ok, or going to be ok" to "wow, he is actually gone, my Daddy is gone". My Marine friend told me once that Marine's have a saying when things suck, you ....."Embrace the Suck". I call this embracing the Hurt, because yes, it does suck, but it hurts way more than I thought it would.
The Hurt is a dull pain, low energy and feeling like you have the flu without the runny nose and diarrhea....and it just comes and goes...hurt, no hurt, I don't know when to expect it, but it's there more than it isn't. It also likes to join it's friend, cry and no cry which alternate during the day. And most of us have had broken hearts, but this is deeper...unless of course your spouse or boyfriend passed away.. then you know what I mean.
Every day is a new day and as I continue to receive emails about how others have passed, I do find comfort in knowing a few things-
Dad died the way he wanted, with his children holding his hands and his wife and sisters at his bedside, and yes, he was at home.
Dad also died very peacefully and more importantly- painlessly.
I've heard of other stories where there was no peace and there was pain....that for sure would not give me peace!
Dad believed in God and had accepted Jesus into his heart. This gives me a peace that surpasses all understanding- and a hope that yes, someday I WILL see my Daddy again! I am rest assured in my Hurt, that Dad is pain free in the company of the Big Man upstairs- that he is waiting patiently for Mom and the rest of us to get there so he can welcome us with his Big Moe Hugs!
Love you- Dad
